Doubt

Reading 'Phosphorescence' by Julia Baird

I recently listened to a book called Phosphorescence, by Julia Baird, “on awe, wonder & things that sustain you when the world goes dark.” One day, as I rode my push bike home through a leafy park, I heard about how spending time in, or even just looking at, nature can improve physical and mental wellbeing. Studies have shown that hospital patients with a view of trees, rather than walls, recover more quickly, and students that go for walks in forests, rather than city streets, do better in exams! I thought to myself, “No wonder I love living in Darwin with its outdoor life.”

The author is a Christian and also talks about the topic of doubt. It’s a topic that I think we too often avoid, wanting to hide our doubt from each other, as if it’s something to be ashamed of. The book recollects a time when Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury, said that at times he questioned if God was really there. As you can imagine, people of all sorts jumped on the comment, saying it “sparked concerns.” But should it? Or is that just a sign that we don’t talk about doubt enough?

Baird argued that doubt should not be seen as “a sin or lapse”, but a “necessary exploration” which can deepen and clarify faith. She wrote:

Just as courage is persisting in the face of fear, so faith is persisting in the presence of doubt. ... Doubt acknowledges our own limitations, and confirms, or challenges, fundamental beliefs. It is not a detractor from belief, but a crucial part of it. ... Many influential Christian writers, like Calvin and CS Lewis, have acknowledged times of uncertainty. … Who can possibly hope to understand everything and to have exhaustively researched all areas of uncertainty? How can we jam the infinite and contain it in our tiny brains? This is why there can be so much comfort in mystery.

We are weak, we are finite, and it’s ok to doubt God. We can pray that God continues to strengthen us and use us. Baird quoted a prayer from Mother Teresa‘s diary in 1953, “Please pray especially for me that I may not spoil his work.” Amen!

Give thanks that God is infinite, and has revealed himself to us. Pray that he will strengthen our faith and use us for us purposes.